Concurring Child Custody
When a couple gets divorced with children it sometimes plays out that one parent pays the other child support to help with expenses in the child’s life or children’s lives. It might be difficult for some to understand why they need to pay child support, but with the nine tips offered below it might become easier.
In a perfect world, all divorcing parents would get along great and
child custody would be a non-issue. The parents would readily agree on a child custody
and visitation schedule that would benefit all parties involved. In reality,
one of the most painful aspects of divorce for parents is having to divide
their time with their children with their ex.If youre reading this, child custody may already be a sensitive
issue. Will your ex fight you on child custody? Will you both try to be
the parent who has the children most of the time? Or, if everything seems
fine now, will your spouse change their mind one day and drag you to court
for full physical custody? In any case, its important that you
are careful about child custody. Whether you intend to have joint physical
custody or not, the advice is the same.Here are our top child custody tips for divorcing parents:
1. Whether its a temporary order while your
divorce is pending through the court or a permanent order after your divorce is
finalized, stick to the child custody and visitation schedule in the Parenting
Plan. If its your day or your weekend with the children, dont
call your ex and cancel on your kids. This does not make it look as if
your children are a priority in your life.Keep a detailed log or diary of all visits with your children. Even if
youre the one receiving child support because the kids are with
you most of the time, you should still catalog when your ex picks up the
children and drops them off. If your spouse sends a friend or relative
to handle pick-ups and drop-offs, be sure to make a note of it and record
the persons name.2. Be active in your childrens lives. This means attending parent-teacher
conferences, attending soccer practices, dance classes, and karate classes,
and showing up to all school-related events. If your schedule allows,
volunteer in your childs classroom, become a coach on their team,
and do whatever you can to play an active role in their daily lives.3. If your child begs you to let them go to Disney Land, the beach, to
a friends birthday party, or a camping trip with their friends
on your day with them, highly consider letting them go.
Not only does this make your child happy, but it shows your flexibility.
If you do let your child get their way, dont forget to write down
the details in your diary or log and explain why you let him or her go.
It truly helps to be flexible, especially as your children get older.4. If your ex-husband or wife really needs your help watching the children
because they have to work, or because they have a job interview, or because
their family member is ill, dont hesitate to take the children
off their hands, even if its not your scheduled day. Instead of
thinking of it as an inconvenience, look at it as an added bonus
you get more time with your children!5. Suppose you and your spouse agree its okay to see other people
while your divorce is pending through the court. If thats the case,
dont schedule date nights for the evenings you have your children.
Instead, always schedule dates for when your children are at the other
parents house. Also, dont introduce anyone to your children
until after youve been dating for at least six months and the divorce is final.6. Be very careful of who you choose to date. Before you let anyone into
your life, do a Google search of his or her name and take a close look
at their LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter accounts. Dont
date anyone with a felony record, a drug or alcohol problem, or a history
of domestic violence. If you find out that your date is a convicted sex
offender, end the relationship immediately! You dont want to bring
a child abuser or molester into your home!7. Dont use your children as pawns. Dont ask them for information
about your ex, and dont force them to be the messenger
between you and your ex. No matter how you feel about your ex, dont
use your children to pass along information. If you absolutely dont
want to talk to your ex, use text messaging or email to communicate with
him or her.8. No matter how you feel about your ex, dont badmouth them to your
child, and refrain from saying negative things about their other parent
within earshot of your kids. Instead, let your kids be kids and allow
them to enjoy their innocence. If your husband ran off with the babysitter,
or if your wife developed an alcohol problem, dont bring it up
in the presence of your children, especially if theyre too young
to understand whats happening. Of course, you need to consider
your childrens ages. Even if you have teenagers, theres
probably plenty of details you can spare them so they can worry less and
enjoy their teen years more.9. If the children will be living with you most of the time, dont
move to another county or out-of-state without seeking legal advice first.
Unless you have sole physical custody, you generally need the courts
permission before you can relocate with your children. If you move without
the courts blessing, your ex can become very upset and you could
be setting yourself up for an ugly child custody battle.If you are getting a divorce, its important to understand how to
handle child custody matters, especially if you anticipate any problems
with your spouse. For experienced legal advice,
contact our firm to meet with a
Los Angeles child custody attorney.
Source: http://www.claerygreen.com/Family-Law-Blog/2017/June/9-Child-Custody-Tips-for-Your-Case.aspx